sadness

Though the world looks bright in a different light, it’s hard to understand the dark I feel inside my heart. - Rachel Diggs, Winter Sky

Sometimes you just have to let sadness run its course. You have to grieve the what might have been or could have been before you can appreciate the what is now. You can’t wish away sadness. You can’t always tell yourself to “buck up” and feel better. Sometimes pep talks fail to stitch up an open wound or rub a balm on a broken heart.

Yesterday I cried big fat tears in stall #1 at work. I tried stopping them. I tried telling myself that I was being ridiculous. I tried cheering myself up by listening to my baby brother’s ridiculous voicemail. But I still just needed to cry. To let it all out: the dissipated hope, the ache, the terrifying feel of failure.

Because sometimes you know that things are going to get better. That the world is bright in a different kind of light, but tears under fluorescent bulbs are all you can handle.