I tend to negate the present. I live for what will be, this five-year goal, and that thing I will achieve down the road. So lately I am trying to live in the present, enjoy what each day brings: the things I can revel is now that I might not be able to in 5 years when we have kids. The trips we can take, the time Kevin and I can spend together, the long walks I can take with Brody, and the basic selfishness I can have at this moment in my life.
And this isn't easy. Unfortunately, I was born a coveter - always wanting something else. In high school I could not wait until I graduated and got the heck out of dodge. In college, I couldn't wait to "be an adult" with a real job. Now I find myself looking back and wishing I could have told my 15 and 20 year old selves to just settle down and enjoy. Changing my coveting attitude and appreciating what I have now is not as easy as repeating the 10th commandment over and over. It comes with learning the beauty in the small things I have now. The awareness that God has given me what I need for this moment in time. The security I have in my future because, ultimately, my life is in God's hands.
So I don't have this or that or my five-year plan is tracking more to be a 10-year plan. I have today and in the words of Mother Teresa, "We have only today. Let us begin."
